Festive Tears

Today I was working as part of a double crew with a female Paramedic, well our day started out well, we had just finished out our tea and coffee and the phone went … it was the Dispatcher asking for us to go out and stand-by at a tactical deployment point (TDP). Now TDPs are designed to allow us to reach areas within a specific time scale, which, because of the distance from the station we would not normally be able to achieve if an emergency call were to come in.

So we arrive at the TDP and settle down, turning on the TV in the room and watching some daytime TV. The mobile rings and we are allocated onto an emergency call for a patient with chest pains, off we go, lights and sirens going. We arrive and handle the patient, carrying out a 12-lead ECG and making the patient more comfortable before heading into Accident and Emergency.

After clearing we are sent back to station, where we re-stock the equipment and drugs used and settle down to chat to some colleagues, the emergency phone rings again and we are off, this time for an elderly female who has fallen in the house. Upon our arrival we find the house secured and hunt to see if we can gain access to the property but to no avail. Just as we are about to request the Police arrive to assist in gaining entry a neighbour tells us that the patient has a key safe, which contains a spare front door key, we find the safe, get the code number from the patient (after shouting through the letter box again) and make our entry into the house. We are met by an elderly female, who is stuck on the floor with no obvious injuries, we check her for any pain / injury etc but after giving her a quick head to toe we assist her into a chair. We settle the lady down and make sure that she is happy to stay at home until her home help arrives and after getting the necessary paperwork completed we bid goodbye to the woman and return to our vehicle. We advise the EMDC that we are clear and they tell us to return for our lunch break (11am).

After our break we are allocated onto another emergency call and whilst en route the Dispatcher advises that this call is possibly for a child in cardiac arrest, we arrive within 3 minutes of the call being allocated to us and hear screams coming from the house that tells us this is not just a child who is fitting or has been holding their breath.

We are met by a distraught neighbour who tells us that her mum is a nurse in a Glasgow A&E department and that she is in the house with the mother and child, we walk in with all our equipment to be met by a hysterical female who is begging us to help her child, the child who is lying on the sofa, still and doll like, the neighbour’s mother is looking at us willing us to do something and we do, we take over from her, check the child and discover that this 2 year old boy is lifeless, not breathing and has unfortunately been dead for some time.

This is the worst part of the job, telling a relative that there is nothing we can do for their loved one. It is especially hard when it is a child who has died, now this is only my second death of a child and the last one was still viable; unfortunately this was not the case in this call.

Our focus of patient care moved from the child to the mother, the mother who is screaming and sobbing and begging for us to help, we comfort her and tell her that we unfortunately cannot help her child. My colleague is consoling the mother and I make my way to the vehicle to set in motion all the necessary support mechanisms (Police attendance, Family Doctor etc). The Police arrive soon after us and start with their procedures, by this stage the Gran and Great Gran-mother arrive and I meet them in the hallway of the house and break the news that they are not wanting to hear, they go and comfort their daughter / grand daughter.

My colleague and I console and comfort the three women, whilst maintaining a professional image, even although we both want to walk away and cry.

Some time passes and because of the nature of the call, we agree with the Police to transport the mother and deceased child to hospital (this is not normal but because the mother was not wanting to be separated from her child we gained authorisation from the Duty Manager in the EMDC). Upon our arrival a Doctor and Nurse met us at the doors to the Accident and Emergency unit and take the mother, deceased child and gran as a group to a relative room to allow them some time to come to terms with what is happening. We hand over the care of this group to the staff and went to our vehicle to sit and review what had just occurred over the last 90 minutes. We were comforted by two of our colleagues, who spoke to us in the vehicle and when we were returned to the station we were booked out of the system for a stress break. This is when it really hit us, my colleague and I went our separate ways and broke down, the release of emotion was overwhelming it turned us both into walking crying wrecks, we were consoled by our colleagues and station manager and given time to reflect and discuss the call.

I am sitting here, some 9hrs on still numb but I know that I will, over the next few days, cry whilst thinking about the call… I cannot imagine how the family are feeling just now and I don’t know that I would want to feel the emotions that they are experiencing.

All I can hope is that they know that we did everything we could for them. Unfortunately I know it was not enough.

God bless.

SMM