And now it hurts

I can now sit a write this, it has been 72hrs of complete a utter agony, I have been totally devastated with what has happened. As you may know I have been going out with Kal for the last 2 1/2yrs and over that period we have had some amazing times, however on Thursday evening we met up and the news was broken, he still loves and cares for me, but not enough to be in love with me, as you might guess this was a total shock to me, yes we have fought and had disagreements but nothing that we haven't fixed. I have spent many many hours agonising and wondering why, what, how and still not came to any conclusions. I met with Kal yesterday and had another long painful, but honest talk, we both said things that hurt, I've done things over the last 48hrs that upset Kal, caused him anguish and pain, it wasn't as blackmail or punishment just not thinking and being so self absorbed with the pain I was feeling I couldn't see the pain other's felt for and with me. I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has text me since they found out, I would also like to say to Kal "friends, no matter when it is, if you need me call" I wish him all the luck in the world, hope he finds happiness one day and I hope he doesn't feel half the pain I've gone through, but if he is hurt, upset, worried or just needs to cry, drink tea or have a hug I'll be there, cup, hankies and arms ready. I love you Kal, as a friend and still somewhere in my heart as a lover x