Well it was Kal's birthday yesterday, I arranged to meet up with him after he had finished at a work related meeting. We met up in one of our regular coffee shops and sat, I didn't really say much and neither did he, it was difficult, we both finished our coffee and he walked me to the car to collect his birthday card and gifts, they were gifts that I had bought when we were together, I had changed the card obviously as he is no longer my boyfriend so the original one was inappropriate. During our strained conversation I found out that he was going for a meal with his flat mate and one of his friends (that hurt, because I had been obviously as his boyfriend planning to take him to a rather exclusive place for a romantic meal) then on for drinks, which I was invited along to afterwards.
I thought about going, it tore me apart not going, but it also would have torn me up more if I'd have been drunk, I might have said or worse still done something totally inappropriate and felt guilty afterwards, I text Kal to apologise for my absence and wished him all the best, I think in my heart I did the right thing, I think we both might have hurt more if we had met up for drinks, I hope I'm not wrong and I've distanced him from me, that was not my intention at all.
Happy (belated) Birthday Kal x