Time passes

Well it's been a fortnight since Kal and I broke up, I've seen him a few times since, some were more difficult than others, there have been moments of silence, moments of pain and lots of tears either alone or with others. It is still difficult not seeing him, but I think it is getting easier, I still think about him, waken in the morning with thoughts of him, but it doesn't hurt as much as it has not hearing from him, not receiving the "Good morning / night" text messages which were our way of communicating when we were on different shifts and had not see each other for a few days.

I know that it will get easier, people keep telling me that, wit time I'm sure it will.

I was around at Kal's earlier this week collecting some stuff, that was a difficult time for me it mad things feel so final, so much so that when I said goodbye to Kal and he said "yeah see you" I just wanted to die, the pain was so immense, it felt so impersonal, I know he didn't mean to be, because I could feel his pain as well when we hugged, but it still hurt. I've been reading his blog, I was surprised he blogged about the break up, he is not normally one to discuss his personal feelings, I know he will have struggled with his emotions before he blogged his thoughts and feelings. Kal is good at hiding his thoughts and feelings, but inside I know he'll be struggling and hurting, he has had longer to come to terms with the break up, longer to become accustomed to single life, but he's also had to cope with these mix of feelings and emotions whilst still trying to be my boyfriend.

I hope he is well as I don't want to seem to be bothering him and bombarding him with text messages, I want to stay in contact and be friends, but I don't want to be "chasing" him either to the point that we fall out and fight or make him feel uncomfortable or pissed off when I contact him, so I'm going to let him contact me, give him his space, his time, his choice!